It's Curtains!

Everyone talks new beginnings at the end of a year.  They look over what was great, and look forward to what will be great.  No one wants to be negative or pessimistic, but sometimes the end of something can be more uplifting than the creation of something new.  A few examples of endings that would benefit us all;

• People who get out of the shower looking grosser, greasier and who smell worse than before they got in.  It's a weird phenomenon for sure, but we've probably all witnessed it at one point.  Get the scientists to work on curing this condition immediately!
  

• DVD Menus that give away scenes.  I know we have the technology for these cool segues and interactive menus, but I've never seen Sin City before and I don't appreciate knowing how that car chase ends before I've even seen it.

• American Apparel.  It's just annoying - snotty while pretending not to be snotty.  Clothes that are somehow both boring and ridiculous.  And they're so proud of their "sweatshop free" status that you might not realize the clothes are the same cheap shit you'd get anywhere else.  Disposable clothing for disposable culture.  I guess you can sell anything  by showing chicks in their underwear.
  

• Local News in Denver.  I demand a clean up of content, a focus on community and worldwide issues and a complete removal of bias in favor of cops, republicans, christianity, new laws, the president, and the inflammatory - or just lose it completely.  Totally irrelevant and a mockery of what it could and should be.  Screw the unquestioning, unthinking, ambulance chasing phonies who spend hours on their hair just for you.  Even their commercials make me sick.  Watch and see how many times they say, "How your children could be at risk!"  Fuck that, feeding on fear.  Hitler would love you people.
  

• B-Level Celeb Worship  Shit has gotten out of hand.  All Britney spears has done in the last two months is go to Starbucks and the gas station, but I have to hear about it and see twenty photos everytime she does.  So she's wearing a wig, so what!? I'd much rather just forget about the whole thing.  You shouldn't be allowed to be famous just for being famous. Brangelina, Aniston, Lohan, Hilton.  I'm done. I can't take it anymore.
  

• Planned Movie Trilogies Why not make one good movie instead 3 boring ones?  I'll tell you why, because you won't buy three tickets to see one good movie.  It's a cheap ploy, and the people involved should be ashamed of themselves.  I'm talking to you Sam Raimi!  Who knew it would take three Spiderman movies to reveal how bad Toby Maguire really is as Peter Parker.  I guess it works, though.  The nerds get so whipped up you could show them Clay Aiken as the Sandman and they'd still line up around the block in costume to get a ticket.