December 2007 Archives

There's a great post on BibliOdyssey about old Dutch ads that you should really check out.  The whole site is great, he really finds some amazing stuff.

I found this awesome corporate Xmas card from 1971 at a local flea market.  The lettering is amazing and the interior photos are priceless.  It also came with a recorded message from the "Production Supervisor" on a 45" record (and my turntable amp is broken!)  Make sure to check the fold-outs after the cut.  It all ties together at the top and becomes a giant ornament!  Luxurious! -   and remember this was hand lettering! 

..and painful.  I wonder if she's okay. 

I played GH3 for the first time last week and had a blast.  Everyone I talk to seems to say the same thing, "Why don't you learn to play a real guitar?"  Here's why: I can't master Metallica's One in twenty minutes with a real guitar.  I can't afford a real guitar and amp and effects set-up to get the sounds from the game.  I don't have the time or space to practice.  What about this - I don't want to learn guitar, I want to play video games!

How come no one ever says,
    "Why don't you play real football instead of playing John Madden?" 
    "Why don't you just learn to box instead of playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out?" 
    "Why don't you grow a moustache and become a midget plumber in a land of magical wonders?" 
F-You... you're allowed to have fun with a guitar, even a fake one - even one made of air.  It's not sacred.  So there.

This is not make-up.  Paul Karason developed dermatitis 14 years ago and started taking colloidal silver orally as well as rubbing it on his itchy bits to speed up the healing process.  His skin tone began to change and he eventually arrived at the color you see above.  Paul said that it happened so gradually that his friends and family didn't notice.  (More like they didn't say anything.) 
Colloidal silver is known as a cure-all in some circles and is thought to help skin problems and even treat AIDS and cancer.  The FDA rejects these claims, but doctors have said that the substance did make home-boy turn blue.

This is a poster for "The Birds" from Poland in 1965 (ptaki means birds).  Great design, and way ahead of its time. It looks like a thousand shirts from Hot Topic do today, and it's 42 years old! Notice that they changed Hitchcock's name to "Alfreda Hitchcocka". Sounds delicious, doesn't it?  Why didn't they mess with Tippi Hedren?

The folks at OsO Design House have put together an 8" do it yourself Bax Bear blank.  If that weren't cool enough, send back a photo of your finished bear and it could get put into production!  Here's your chance to be indie-arty and get in on the thriving art-toy market!

Click here to check it out!

It's a tough one this time, but one of my all time favorite movies.
Can you name it based on the following three stills?

    "Mystical breed" meaning foam-carrying spandex-stretching roid bags with tits!  American Gladiatiors, the show you stayed up to watch as a pre-pube is back.  American Gladiators seemed lame to me the first time around.  I was 11 and I was expecting real fights and life threatening stunts, what I got was bleached hair, female triceps gone wild, and foam bumpers galore, all with a healthy coating of game show glitz.
     Even though its new host Hulk Hogan says, "This is not your grandmother's American Gladiator.."(my grandmother's!?)  it looks like more of the same with the sex appeal amped up a little bit. 
    Maybe that's what I was missing out on during the first series, I was too young to care about cleavage!  And the new show looks like silicon city!  American Gladiators, representing everything that's wrong (and right!) about America, starting January 6th.
An unintentionally funny video about the show on NBC.com.  ("Oh..did I mention the half million gallon water tank?")

This rare and action packed tract by Jack Chick was discontinued shortly after it appeared in 1986, probably because it was too over the top, even for Chick Publications, which is saying a lot.  If you're not familiar with Jack Chick you might be surprised to find that you've read his work without even knowing it. (He's the man behind those mini comics that religious zealots hand out, mainly to ruin fun holidays like Halloween and New Years's Eve) Scary stat - He's the most published author in the world.  Read it, fear it, love it.

This is so great, I don't even have to talk it up.  Below is text from the site www.stopabductions.com, that teaches you how to make a thought screen helmet to protect yourself from annoying alien abduction.  Love the chinstrap.

"I have been abducted by aliens  for years and found stopabductions.com  by a happy coincidence.

The Thought Screen Helmet, invented by an expert, has stopped the unwelcome visitations and has raised me  and my family`s quality of life. Therefore I highly recommend it."

I went to check out their site, and it was all screwed up.  Finally I found a link to an article that announced - Loompanics Books has gone out of business!  To me, this is a big loss, this may have been the last big renegade, black market, authority scaring, publisher left in America.  Check out these book covers! (Sorry about the image quality, these are just some thumbnails that were left at the site)

  
Read and See More after the cut...

    I watch Forensic Files. A lot.  I have now deemed myself an expert and am using a dangerously small amount of knowledge to tell you about how to get away with society's most hideous crime.  I think I could do it, apart from the actual killing of another human being, that is. 

Let's start with the "Do's"...

Whoever made Amy Winhouse did it wrong.  The average human is about 7.5 heads high, she's about 3.  According to her publicist, this photo was taken as she "investigated a noise" outside her apartment.  I read that she was f'ed up trying to find the door. 

La Luz de Jesus is one of the coolest galleries anywhere, and it's located within my favorite store in the world, "Wacko".  They had some cool shows this year, but the Big Daddy show stands out.  His originals for T-Shirts, decals and stickers were displayed and selling for prices as high as $25,000!  It doesn't look like any sold - that is a big chunk o' change, especially with Big Daddy Roth's blue collar fanbase.  Wish I could afford one!

Check out the rest of the show here.

Some people might think she's over-exposed, some even think she's fat(!), but they're wrong!  I never get tired of seeing Betty, and I'm guessing most red-blooded American male-types feel the same way, so enjoy...

I love the Japanese...

    Have you seen this?  Up until this point in my life I thought George Romero could really do no wrong.  Maybe he can't.  This movie could be great, but judging by the poster, the name, and the slogan, it's not looking good.  Diary of the Dead?  C'mon!  What happened to the giant zombie wars you tried to get into Day of the Dead!?  Now it's zombies tazing themselves on YouTube or something?
  "Shoot the dead."  Now that's a dull sentence.  Diary of the Dead, what's next, Ringtone of the Dead!?
    It does have some interesting cameos;  Quentin Tarantino, Simon Pegg, Wes Craven, Stephen King and Guillermo del Toro.  It's also independently produced.   Could be interesting.

I love the Iron Sheik, and I've never even seen him wrestle.  Once he was asked if he was gay because of his homo-erotic insults.  He answered "I don't use penis, I use beer-bottell.".



My all time favorite Sheik moment was when he appeared on OutQ, Sirius' gay radio station.  He went into his usual routine, about how Brian Blair is a "faggot" and "gay".  The host laughed and said,
    "Do you know I'm gay?"
    "You are gay?"
    "Yes, so is he and so is she."
    "No, but Brian Blair is gayer even than you guys!"

Can you name the film based on these 3 stills?  Test your B-movie cojones!